Counting My Blessings

 I just feel so down right now. Let me count my blessings, hope that gets my spirit up.

1. I have wonderful kids. They are what I live for. They help me bear all the trauma I've been through. I love them so much and hope that they will love me forever too. Maybe one day they will understand why I have been the way I am lately. I hope I can hang on for their sake. I always want them to be happy. I wish them a great life ahead and hope they never experience the sadness I am in now. If they do, I hope they can get up, be strong and survive it. I hope I can be an good example and survive my own trials.

2. I have a job. It may not pay much but it keeps me sane. Something to look forward to almost everyday. Its something I have always wanted to do. It empowers and challenges me. It gets my mind off my depression even for awhile.

Look Mom !

The sweetest words for the day : Look Mom!

Makes my heart melt everytime... I can hear the confidence in his voice...my little boy is so sure he created a masterpiece out of the blocks he constructed...he is so sure I would get up to go check it out... he is so sure I would love it! and he is so sure that I love him.

Wish he would love me forever and ever. Wish he never outgrows his innocence. Wish I could protect him from all the hurt in the world. Wish I could find the courage and perseverance to keep his parents marriage alive. Wish I could be sure of The Husbands love and fidelity to me.

Wish I could say Look World! We are one big happy family !