What Makes a Cheater Tick?

I can't help it. I just have to comment on Anthony Weiner and Arnold Schwarzenegger. In a way, they are different and the same. But what makes a cheater tick?

Both have pretty and successful wives.
Both are politicians and therefore high profile.
Both are married and are cheaters.
Both were publicly humiliated.

Weiner is (seems) skinny. Schwarzenegger is muscular.
Weiner has no kids (yet). Schwarznegger has 4.
Weiner cheated secretly. Schwarznegger is known to be a womanizer.
Weiner was involved in internet "affairs". Schwarznegger was involved in a  "convenient affair."
Weiner denied when confronted. Schwarzenegger admitted it on his own after years of deception.
Weiner has been married for  about a year. Schwarzenegger has been married for 25 years.

I wonder what their childhood was like...

Throw, Keep or Give away?

Still waiting for us to move. Still no definite plans. My life is on hold in the sense of I don't know which direction our family is going. Are we moving or not?

In the meantime, I sort things out everyday just to be prepared. Throw, keep, or give away? Baby things, furniture, clothes, my books!, shoes, bags, kitchen stuff, toys, tons of letters/ cards/ certificates/ memorabilia,   etc etc etc. Been trying to organize and simplify the material things in my life. I realized I really have a problem with letting go. I should have started this a long time ago to give me more time to deal with this separation anxiety. Yesterday I was thinking about why it is so difficult for me to do this.
I decided to think about what the items symbolize for me. Like the art works my kids gave me symbolize their love for me. How can I throw these away?!? Arrgh!!!! Anyway, I plan to keep doing this for the next couple of days ( maybe weeks) so I can analyze what makes me cling to the "clutter" and maybe try to console myself with the thought that their love will always be in theirs and my heart. No need to prove this over and over with material things. As for the other things, it will cost a bit more but since I can't bring everything, I guess I can always buy new things!

I Miss Him

Never thought I would say this now but ... am bored without him. I miss him. Call me a doormat whatever. Am about to give up the fight and kiss and make up.

I just read an article about forgiveness. Forgiveness...What's it For?  It says :


We often think of forgiveness as something that someone who has done us wrong must ask of US. There is always another way of looking at something. My thoughts on forgiveness suggest that you focus on offering forgiveness TO the person who has wronged you. To not forgive them is like taking the poison (continuing to suffer for what they did or didn't do to you) and expecting THEM to die!

Listen to Me

Does your spouse listen to you or does he just hear you?

Hearing is when the sounds go in one ear and out the other. Listening is when you internalize what is being heard. Many times I feel he just hears but not listens. He doesn't listen to what I say or what my heart says. I don't know if he ever did or maybe am just being bitter again and negative now. How I wish he would listen and show me that he cares.

What am I trying to say? That I love him. I stayed thru his infidelity when other wives would leave. Against all advise of my family . Does he care? Maybe yes maybe no. I don't know. Isn't it pathetic that I can't tell and yet I stay? I stay because I still hope for change. So far there have been changes. No signs of another affair so far. But the unbearable part is no signs of love for me too. The romance is gone. How do you get that back? Why does he stay on? Is he still having the best of both worlds? My friends think I'm lucky he is hands on with the kids, picks me up and takes me where I need to go. But is that all that makes up a marriage?