Attack Life like An Athlete

My child is an athlete. She's very good at it. I asked her if it bothers her when the crowd jeers her to distract her. She answered" No, thats part of it mom!" Of course I know that... but its her attitude that I admire. She  expects the jeers as a natural part of the game but can still focus on her target. Children are in certain ways wiser than adults... In childlike abandonment, they just go ahead and meet life head on.

It reminds me of what my counsellor once said to me : "Tell yourself this situation is temporary. Every now and then life is extra stressful but there are moments of relief. Attack the stressful moments like an athlete - be a good sport and accept the challenge. Thats just how life is."

Something for me to remember again ...

What Makes a Cheater Tick?

I can't help it. I just have to comment on Anthony Weiner and Arnold Schwarzenegger. In a way, they are different and the same. But what makes a cheater tick?

Both have pretty and successful wives.
Both are politicians and therefore high profile.
Both are married and are cheaters.
Both were publicly humiliated.

Weiner is (seems) skinny. Schwarzenegger is muscular.
Weiner has no kids (yet). Schwarznegger has 4.
Weiner cheated secretly. Schwarznegger is known to be a womanizer.
Weiner was involved in internet "affairs". Schwarznegger was involved in a  "convenient affair."
Weiner denied when confronted. Schwarzenegger admitted it on his own after years of deception.
Weiner has been married for  about a year. Schwarzenegger has been married for 25 years.

I wonder what their childhood was like...

Throw, Keep or Give away?

Still waiting for us to move. Still no definite plans. My life is on hold in the sense of I don't know which direction our family is going. Are we moving or not?

In the meantime, I sort things out everyday just to be prepared. Throw, keep, or give away? Baby things, furniture, clothes, my books!, shoes, bags, kitchen stuff, toys, tons of letters/ cards/ certificates/ memorabilia,   etc etc etc. Been trying to organize and simplify the material things in my life. I realized I really have a problem with letting go. I should have started this a long time ago to give me more time to deal with this separation anxiety. Yesterday I was thinking about why it is so difficult for me to do this.
I decided to think about what the items symbolize for me. Like the art works my kids gave me symbolize their love for me. How can I throw these away?!? Arrgh!!!! Anyway, I plan to keep doing this for the next couple of days ( maybe weeks) so I can analyze what makes me cling to the "clutter" and maybe try to console myself with the thought that their love will always be in theirs and my heart. No need to prove this over and over with material things. As for the other things, it will cost a bit more but since I can't bring everything, I guess I can always buy new things!

Moving House

My family will be relocating soon to a totally different place abroad.  Been researching about the possible cities to transfer to. Schools, crime rates, economy, house prices etc. I am not taking this very well... in fact, i am taking it very badly. 

What bothers me: 

1. Having to part with things

2. Being away from long time friends and family

3. Having to start over in a new job

4. Having to look for a job

5. Worrying about how my kids will adjust 

6. No knowing what to expect in the new place

7. Loosing my support group

8. etc etc etc

What to look forward to: 

1. New life 

2. Family being together again

3. Peace of mind ( maybe)

4. Better living conditions ( maybe)

5. Better education  

Moving house is  not just physically moving. Its letting go of many memories and most specially your comfort zone. At the moment, I can't accept it. I don't know if I can do it.  

No Mercy for Bullies !

A child I know opened up to me about being bullied. She did not want her parents to know because she didn't want to get in trouble in school. This is what I told her :

1. I thanked her for opening up to me because that means she trusts me.
2. I told her to try not to let the bullies get her down emotionally.
3. I told her that what is important is that she believes in herself and that the opinion of the bully does not matter. She may just be jealous of her.
4. I told her not to pick a fight or retaliate with the bully and just walk away. ignore and avoid this person. I consider this the best revenge.
5. Against her wishes, I had to relay the information to her counsellor so it may be properly relayed to the parents. Of course with them promising not to divulge the source of the information. It is important that the parents are aware of what is happening to their children. I would personally want to know if my child is being bullied. It is also important for the school to do something about the situation.
6. I explained to her that bullying must be stopped and it is not important what the bully thinks because in the first place the bully does not even consider her feelings when she bullies her.

Fruits of Patience,Forgiveness and Humility

Today is a good day. The Husband surprisingly opened up re a sensitive topic... on his own! I hope this is the start of good communication between us. I consider this a positive step in the recovery of our relationship and fruits of my forgiveness and patience. Thank you Lord for this blessing today. I feel that I can survive our current challenges better as long as we work together and have each others love to pull us thru.

It seems there is always hope to survive broken relationships. However difficult it may be as long as there is forgiveness, patience and humility left, there is hope. I think it took a lot of humility on his part to open up and talk with me. It also took a lot of humility on my part to forgive him and open up again to the possibility of reconciliation.

I am open to whatever will unfold in the next dew days, weeks, months to come. We still have a long way to go... but baby steps will get us there.

Smile everyone ... and to those undergoing relationship problems, lets HANG IN THERE!

Forgiveness and Bitterness

For those of you who are undergoing difficulty with forgiveness, my advise : I choose peace and contentment rather than bitterness...


Another interesting article on forgiveness here . Quote:

3 Steps to Freedom from Bitterness

1. You take the first step by going to God and asking him to be in charge of your justice. You've been hurt and you want justice, but that's his job, not yours. He is the One who makes things right. When you return that responsibility to him, you'll feel a heavy load come off your back.

2. You take the second step by thanking God for all the good things you have. By concentrating on the positive instead of the negative, you'll gradually find joy returning to your life. When you understand that bitterness is a choice, you'll learn to reject it and choose peace and contentment instead.

3. You take the last step by enjoying and loving other people again. There's nothing more attractive than a joy-filled, loving person. When you make that the emphasis of your life, who knows what good things might happen?


Hope this helps...