Forgiveness is A Process

I'm alive and back in love. So we finally made up and no regrets so far. I must admit I do still love him.
I am happy that things are back to "normal" although I do still have some apprehensions and fears that I can't shake off. I guess forgiveness is a process and it will take time before things are back to perfect. No sorry correction, things cannot be back to perfect no matter how much I wish it could be. But we are going to try... He has been extra loving to me these days. I secretly hope its for real.

My realizations:

1. When you have children and have problems with your spouse, oftentimes we must put aside our own feelings and put the good of the kids before our own. I love my kids too much to allow them the pain of a broken family.

2. In spite of the present situation I can't deny that our past bonding still more than makes up for any current shortcomings. Its so difficult to forget the moments of love and happiness you have shared together. I realized that I cannot throw it all away after all, I made a promise to love thru better or worse.

3. If both of us let pride prevail, nothing will happen and no one will give in.

4. It is still possible to make future memories if I can forgive and look beyond his imperfections. In short, give him another chance.

5. Current family concerns need to be addressed by both parents. Who else will solve the family problems but the parents ? Preferably both parents together. What started our conversation is the need to address some family concerns. This evolved into talking about us.

6. I still love him in spite of everything we have been thru. Am still capable of forgiving him again. I just pray he won't abuse my love again.

What I know:


1. This may still be a difficult journey for us and I am going to try my best not to make it more difficult.
2. I will try not to dwell on the past.
3. I will concentrate on the present and be grateful for whatever blessings come our way each day.
4. I will try to look forward to the future with a hopeful heart.
5. I will try to remember that I have choices whether to leave or stay and have decided to stay.
6. I need strength and prayers to keep up my spirit of love and commitment to my family. He also needs prayers to continue to love, provide for  and remain faithful to our family.

Did I make the right decision? Time will tell... because forgiveness is a process for both of us.