Hearing is when the sounds go in one ear and out the other. Listening is when you internalize what is being heard. Many times I feel he just hears but not listens. He doesn't listen to what I say or what my heart says. I don't know if he ever did or maybe am just being bitter again and negative now. How I wish he would listen and show me that he cares.
What am I trying to say? That I love him. I stayed thru his infidelity when other wives would leave. Against all advise of my family . Does he care? Maybe yes maybe no. I don't know. Isn't it pathetic that I can't tell and yet I stay? I stay because I still hope for change. So far there have been changes. No signs of another affair so far. But the unbearable part is no signs of love for me too. The romance is gone. How do you get that back? Why does he stay on? Is he still having the best of both worlds? My friends think I'm lucky he is hands on with the kids, picks me up and takes me where I need to go. But is that all that makes up a marriage?
Dear Husband,
Do you still love me? Why don't you show me? How can you stand our silence for more than a week? What are your plans? You come and go and I don't know what you do. I don't know where you go. Are you back with that b___? If you are, can we just separate now? I'd like to get used to life without you. It breaks my heart but I need to keep my sanity. Don't you even think of our kids and what kind of life they will have if we separate? Do I still love you? Yes but why I don't know. Maybe I am stupid. Maybe I can't survive on my own. I don't want to remember all the things I loved about you because it hurts. Please just end my agony and tell me where do we go from here. It's driving me insane.
Your Wife
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