Counting My Blessings

 I just feel so down right now. Let me count my blessings, hope that gets my spirit up.

1. I have wonderful kids. They are what I live for. They help me bear all the trauma I've been through. I love them so much and hope that they will love me forever too. Maybe one day they will understand why I have been the way I am lately. I hope I can hang on for their sake. I always want them to be happy. I wish them a great life ahead and hope they never experience the sadness I am in now. If they do, I hope they can get up, be strong and survive it. I hope I can be an good example and survive my own trials.

2. I have a job. It may not pay much but it keeps me sane. Something to look forward to almost everyday. Its something I have always wanted to do. It empowers and challenges me. It gets my mind off my depression even for awhile.


3. I have a house and food to eat. So far so good.

4. I have lifelong friends. They keep me sane too. I don't know what I would do without them.

5. I have this blog. It feels so good to be able to let it out.

6. I believe in God the Father Almighty. He watches over me and has saved me from myself numerous times. I am forever grateful and hopeful that He knows me and has planned all this with my greater good in mind which one day I will understand. He has helped me practice the virtues of patience, perseverance and humility. He teaches me the way to peace thru His Word and its just my negative self that keeps me from finding the right path.

7. I still have a husband. In fairness to him he is hands on with the kids and loves them to death. But thats being a good dad which is expected of him in the first place. I said I still have a husband because we are after all still married. Yes it is still a blessing because he works to keep the family alive ... physically that is. Emotionally, at the moment he gives me nothing. Maybe he doesn't feel the love  anymore. I can't tell anymore.

....Now am feeling down again. Away with the negative thoughts !!!!!!! I am trying to count my blessings!!!!